The beginning of an end

When i met you, i knew this is going to last, 

Longer than i ever thought,

You tell me you really like me,

And i know, my monsters need to keep calm.

We meet everyday, and yet i hate the moment we part,

When you hold me tight, i know, there, i belong.

So tell me now and tell me true,

Is this really going to last?

The long romantic rides, the cheesy talks?

I am happy and scared,

You see,

My sadness never seem to part,

Confused and excited, i stand far.

The feelings come and go,

Time ticking away with the hands of the clock,

If i am happy, where does this void come from?

Is there something, that i am missing from our million talks?

Actions and words, somehow contradict,

Should i still risk it all?

Come sit with my demons, they want to crawl,

Because baby, i still feel torn, 

Asking out questions with doubts,

Going through over and over your words, thinking, havenot i been through this all?

-Sanorita

Alice in me

Looking back I realised, childhood was simple,

There were no questions,

No heart breaks, no looking for closures.

We could not wait to grow up and be our own individuals,

What happened to those dreams, those aspirations? 

When did Alice got lost in her Wonderland and forgot the mad hatter?

Falling down the rabbit hole, It hit me,

Was not one second supposed to be forever?

Are not the best people bonkers?

Is not the impossible, only possible?

Why can’t we paint white roses red anymore?

Where did Absolem go?

Grown up, independent, proud we stand,

Making our own money, Living life One Day At A Time,

Losing our loved ones, to live a life,

Feeding ourselves blatant lies,

Building tall towers around our hearts,

Looking for attachments and not love,

Too afraid to speak the truth,

Scared of being understood,

Wearing masks day and night,

But secretly waiting for our knights.

Fake it, till you make it,

But the question still lies,

Are not we supposed to be unique all our lives?

Then why struggle to fit in? When we can stand out?

“Shh! keep your voice down!”, I hear a Whisper from the crowd,

Don’t you dare be yourself, look at your past,

So I looked Around The World pushing me down.

I feel the pit in my stomach again,

I am falling through the rabbit hole,

Smacked my head on a concrete floor,

the white Queen is gone, long ago,

and all that can be seen,

Is the big headed, bloody red queen.
-Sanorita

Lost feelings

I opened my eyes and found myself on the ground,

Looked up, but no one was around,

So, I joined my hands and prayed to the moon,

But like always I did not find a clue.

Fell harder on the concrete floor,

But I wasn’t going to give up on hope.

This time, I won’t let sadness take its toll,

Because I found freedom inside my soul.

I lit myself for you, matches after match,

One tiny spark turned into blaze,

They say what goes out, comes back around,

That is how I know, we switched our place.

Love turned into apathy, part by part,

Who knew a girl could resurrect herself from the Ashes of her past?

You have seen me weak, begging on my knees,

Now you can stare at your empty door.

This time, this is it,

Thank you for putting up the amazing show,

Because fuck you darling! I have paid my dues,

 I have finally found myself without you.
-Sanorita

Our generation

I meet the same People everywhere I go,

Sunshine and Smiles on their faces and sadness tugged safely in the corner of their eyes,

Is it me?

Or they just can’t seem to lie.

With the world revolving 24 by 7,

When did happiness start coming with a price?

Going through the same rut day and night,

Fighting between being a feminist and being called a misogynist,

The world governed by the people who don’t get tired of plastering lies,

Pick a side!

The world is divided into upper east and down Westside,

Did you really think being different would not come with the price?

So I sit here by my window picking out the qualities that don’t fit the black ink lies,

And here is a friend who did not hesitate to call me asinine,

You think I am crazy?

Get inline!

With thousands of stories pasted on all social sites,

Hiding emotions perfectly behind million filters and hastags all the time,

We don’t get tired of pretending, just for the sake of some likes.

Has Technology helped us, or crippled us, Who am I solely to decide?

Emotions safely hiding behind the emojis,

Even using someone else’s word to make a point,

Putting up DPs to support or protest,

Depression rates among young generation touching the skies,

“Are we really progressing towards the future?”

 Asked by a 12 year old who just came out of a parlour,looking like Miss Universe.

What do I tell her? Am I supposed to tell the truth to her perfect winged eyes?

What if I make her cry? 

Would not want to ruin her MAC, which is costlier than my own Pride.

Fairy tales and Happily Ever Afters?Naahh!! fatal for our own lives.

So, clink your glasses and shout Hallelujah because Sir, you too are standing in your own web of Lies.
-Sanorita

Vented out!!!

Picked  up the pen to write some verse, but choked on my own words,

The beginning is the new end, or, is the end, new beginning,

How can it be decided by some blots of mark?

It is not love anymore, I know,

has hatred taken its place, or do we still have miles to go? 

The anger, the fits, the screaming, the screeching, all out and nothing inside,

When did expressing myself became a  crime?

You sit there in agony, I sit here in despair,

Everything is same, yet nothing in heart,

I am tired of killing myself to give us chances that you blankly pass.

I know you are mad, angry, upset, frustrated and sometimes feel 10 feets beneath the ground,

I know I am liable for half of the past.

You have become like a recess and I don’t want to play anymore,

All I want is to live and not linger inside these empty walls.

I am filled up to the brink and I have never felt so lost, mostly angry, but who is keeping a count?

Tired of saying goodbye a million times over and out,

Now I just feel these words have lost their crown.

Can’t keep up to your words,nor your actions,

not blaming you directly, I am wearing my faults,

Nights after nights, months  and years, gone by,

Why are we still pretending, that maybe, there is a Fairytale waiting down the line.

The webs of Lies has started to suffocate me, and I am on my last breath,

Would you at least now open your eyes? 

My anger and your ego are like the two sided sword, killing both of us alive.

Tired of repeating myself over and over again,

Are you deaf, or have you been giving it a blank eye?

Wake up Prince Charming, our forever is running out of time! 

-Sanorita

His Song

That pale white skin, eyes darker than the night,
Looking at me, or looking through me, who is to tell tonight.
When our eyes meet, i can feel the stars shooting like the 4th of July.
It is like the forbidden apple, the more in question, I ache for a bite.

You make me weak in my knees and I wonder why,
When did i let myself flow when i know everything that i love is fragile,
You are like a daydream pasted on the face of my reality,
Yes! Yes! Yes! I quiver all the time, but my soul knows otherwise.
I wonder why people always wear disguise.

Picked a pen after ages, to finally write,
From miserable feelings turned to light,
But once again wrote about a man,
And i realised, this is my end, falling for the wrong guys.
But when i look at you tonight, everything is a blur, it’s just us, and like always it seems about right.

-Sanorita

Because you got to

With tainted love and open arms,

empty hands and an emptier heart,

with hollow words and nowhere to go,

the feeling sunk in, a little more.

 

Standing at the fork of my life,

when nothing seems to be right,

“Hold on a little tighter onto your soul”,

before it breaks and the devil takes it’s toll.

 

Stand up straight, keep your head held up high,

is not that what you have learnt all your life?

write, write, write, till you get it all out,

don’t let a lesson or a page wear you down.

 

Live, love, laugh they told for sure,

but don’t they know the three always go along?

put it all back where it all came from,

take one day at a time, there is no one to keep any count.

 

Be yourself, don’t bring yourself down,

pick your sword and fight like a girl,

because with tainted love and wide open arms,

you always end up with empty hands and an emptier heart.

 

-Sanorita